Americans Plan to Celebrate Independence Day with Parades, Bottle Rockets and God-Awful Garb! Tom McDaniel is not afraid to wear his patriotism on his sleeve. Or his Speedo. The Grand Rapids, Michigan resident is more than excited as this July 4th approaches. McDaniel, a self-proclaimed patriot who “bleeds red, white, blue and one time, green,” is itching to run the annual Grand ...
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore… my face should be among them. That’s weird, my pants just got tighter when you walked by. He: So what do you do for a living? She: Female impersonator. $5 cover. $6 whiskey. Standing next to you while paying the bill – priceless. Two words explain me when I’m not with you. Jergens Lotion. Can you believe I am single? (Sound official) ...
The stars are amazed and a little pissed at the angst floating around this month. I was under the impression that you actually graduated from elementary school! Who do the stars get to whine at? No one! They get to sit here and predict the fortunes of all you little bastards. Okay then... Capricorn (23 Dec–19 Jan) There are no stars, planets or other celestial beings influencing ...
I always thought babysitting was _____________(ADJECTIVE ABOUT A PROMISCUOUS GIRL) and an easy way to earn some _____________(NOUN YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF) on the side. That is, until last week when two little _____________(PLURAL FAVORITE CHARACTER FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ) down the street changed my mind. When I arrived at their house, things seemed _____________(ADJECTIVE YOU ...
